If Animal have Facebook

If animals have FB or Blackberry account, these are most likely their status:

Poodle: Waiting for my owner to pick me up. Time for saloon
Cockroach: managed to skip from some one’s foot step.
Cow: Huh! Again they are touching my breast..what do they think I am? B**ch?
Cat: my 7th child is asking who is her dad..what shall I tell her??, I don’t even remember. And should I tell her I'm going to eat her?
Mosquito: I am HIV positive this all due wrong sucking !!!
Chicken: If tomorrow I am not updating my status, means I am being served at KFC. Love you all
Octopus: I have just refilled my ink.. Hurray!!
Pig: oh gosh they throw the gossips that I am spreading flu…WTF!!
Lice: oh shit!! I entered wrong hair.. Smells like urinal bowls!
Goat : Friends, don’t go out, Eid holiday is coming
Pig writes a comment on Goat’s status: “ luckily I am haram”
Goat replies: “ don’t you remember that after Eid is the Chinese new year..?