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Sunday, June 28, 2009

Internet is NOT the only solution to your life

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft.

The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.

'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.

He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US...

He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.

When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.

The man replied,'I don't have an email.'

The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Moral of the story

Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life.

Moral 2
If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Moral 3
If you received this message by email, you are closer to being a office boy/girl, than a millionaire..........

Latest wedding invitation

Lumba tangga

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why woman have breasts...

video

True story: School answering machine

This is the actual answering machine message for the school at Midlands, England. It came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and Parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.

The school and teachers are now being threatened with legal action by some parents who want their children's failing marks changed to passing marks - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the term and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their various key stages.


************ The outgoing message: ********* *****


'Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.

In order to assist you in connecting to the right member of staff, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

* To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her work - Press 2

* To complain about what we do - Press 3

* To swear at staff members - Press 4

* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your Newsletter and several letters posted to you - Press 5

* If you want us to bring up your child - Press 6

* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

* To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

* To complain about bus transport - Press 9

* To complain about school lunches - Press 0

LASTLY:

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a really wonderful day!

If you want this in other languages, you must be in the wrong country. This is England, now piss off.


Cuba buat nih kat malaysia, hehehehhe...

Upgraded From Girlfriend To Wife

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User.
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain bout. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application ?Yes Dear? to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Cool PC Case


Fortis IQ Watch


Designer Rolf Sachs has created a watch with a blackboard-style face for watch brand Fortis.

When Fat is good??

You read that correctly. Certain fats are good for you and as important as other food groups for your body,


Agreed, it’s great to be thin. But when the ‘veins’ on your hands pop up and your face loses its glow, being thin doesn’t seem so great. On the contrary, the gaunt look just indicates that your body is craving for fat — yes, the same thing you avoided like plague for a sub-zero figure.

Unless you are obese, you shouldn’t deprive your body of all fats. The key is to use up your body fat, and as you approach your ideal weight — when you are within 10 to 15 kg of it — start eating regimented amounts. If you skip the butter and the ghee, don’t be surprised if you experience joint paints, lower back-ache and even problems of vision.
Why fat is important

Fat is needed for the normal growth and development. Primarily because it:

• Provides long-lasting energy

• Helps you feel full after eating

• Helps in making hormones

• Forms a part of the brain

• Forms cell membranes for every cell in the body

• Carries vitamins through the body

• Helps regulate body temperature

• Cushions your joints and helps them move smoothly.

It also provides you with two essential fatty acids — linoleic and linolenic — that your body cannot make by itself. These strengthen the immune system, protect the auto-immune system and form a protective shell over your organs.
The good fats

Saturated fats

Saturated fatty acids or saturated fats have all the hydrogen the carbon atoms can hold. These are usually solid at room temperature, and they’re more stable; they don’t combine readily with oxygen. However, they are the main dietary factors, along with transfats in raising blood cholesterol.

Sources: Home-made ghee, table butter, white butter, coconut oil, cheddar cheese and meat.
Unsaturated fats

Polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fatty acids are found in liquid oils of vegetable origin. Polyunsaturated oils are liquid at room temperature and in the refrigerator. They help your body get rid of newly formed cholesterol, thus keeping blood cholesterol level down and reducing cholesterol deposits on artery walls.

Sources: Safflower, sesame, soy, corn and sunflower seed and nuts such as pista, almonds, cashewnuts,
walnuts.

Monounsaturated oils are liquid at room temperature but solidify in the refrigerator. These may also help reduce blood cholesterol as long as the diet is very low in saturated fat.

Sources: Olive, canola and peanut oils and avocados.

Omega 3 fatty acids are also a part of unsaturated fats. They reduce blood pressure and stimulate blood circulation. It will also give you glossy hair and rid you of varicose veins.

Sources: Salmon, mackerel, walnuts and flax seeds.

Consume in moderation

Since fats contain more than twice the calories of protein and carbohydrate, they should be eaten in moderation. About 30 per cent of the energy we eat should come from fat. Balance your meals with carbohydrates, proteins and fat. The ratio should be 1:1:1 — about 10 gm of saturates to 10 gm of mono-saturates to 10 gm of poly-saturates. So a person maintaining his or her ideal weight can have 10 gm of ghee, 10 gm of olive oil and 10 gm of sunflower oil in a day.

Tiket Percuma Transformers 2!!! Print dan Bawa ke GSC atau TGV berdekatan anda!!!!

iklan sabun fab zaman dulu

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Sunday, June 21, 2009

Volkswagen Bags Engine of the Year Award With It’s 1.4-liter Twincharged Engine



Volkswagen has been coming up with brilliant engines lately, drive any of their latest cars and you’ll know what we mean. The world over has been going on about VW’s engine line-up and the judges of Engine of the Year Awards have heard them. Volkswagen’s 1.4-liter TSI Twincharger engine has been bestowed the greatest honour a powerplant could receive - the Engine of the Year Award.

And there was more good news for the Wolfsburg-based automaker. The Twincharged 1.4 liter TSI won both the 1.0 to 1.4 liter engine category and the honor of the Green Engine of the Year, beating out the new hybrid power plants from Toyota and Honda.

The 1.4 liter Twincharger is used across VW’s range in models such as the Golf, Scirocco and Eos. The engine unit has also been put to work in the Seat Ibiza Cupra and will likely spread to other models of the VW Group’s brands.

Other notable engines honored were Mercedes’ AMG division’s 6.2-liter V8, which won Performance Engine of the Year. BMW took the title for best engine in the 2.5 liter to 3.0 liter category with its 3.0 liter diesel unit. Its 4.0 liter V8 from the M3 also won the 3.0 to 4.0 liter category.

The 11th annual International Engine of the Year Award event was held at the Engine Expo 2009 in Stuttgart, Germany on the 17th of June. The panel of judges consisted of 65 automotive journalists from all over the world.

International Engine of the Year Awards 2009 Winners

Best New Engine of 2009
Porsche 3.8-litre flat-six (911)

Green Engine of the Year
Volkswagen 1.4-litre TSI Twincharger (Golf, Touran, Tiguan, Jetta)

Performance Engine of the Year
Mercedes-AMG 6.2-litre (CLK, S, SL, CL, CLS, ML)

Sub 1-litre
Toyota 1-litre (Aygo, Yaris, Peugeot 107, Citro├źn C1, Subaru Justy)

1-litre to 1.4-litre
Volkswagen 1.4-litre TSI Twincharger (Golf, Eos, Scirocco, Touran, Tiguan, Jetta, Seat Ibiza Cupra)

1.4-litre to 1.8-litre
BMW-PSA 1.6-litre Turbo (MINI Cooper S, Clubman, Peugeot 207, 308)

1.8-litre to 2-litre
Audi 2-litre TFSI (A4, A5, Q5, VW Scirocco, Golf GTi)

2-litre to 2.5-litre
Mercedes-Benz Diesel 2.1-litre (BlueEffieciency C-Class, BlueEffieciency E-Class)

2.5-litre to 3-litre
BMW 3-litre DI Twin-Turbo (135, 335, X6, Z4, 730)

3-litre to 4-litre
BMW 4-litre V8 (M3)

Above 4-litre
Mercedes-AMG 6.2-litre (CLK, S, SL, CL, CLS, ML)

Source: WorldCarFans

Never argue with a woman who reads..

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort.
The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors and continues to read her book.
Along comes a Park Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies.

'You're in a restricted fishing area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading.'

'Yes but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.

I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am.' And he left.

The Y Generation

The " Y " Generation :

People born between 1925 and 1945....Are called...
The Silent Generation

People born between 1946 and 1964...Are called....
The Baby Boomers

People born between 1965 and 1986...Are called....
Generation X.

People born after 1987...Are called....
Generation Y

BUT......... Y
Why do we call the last group of people...Generation Y ?
I had no idea until I saw this caricaturist's explanation!
A picture is worth a thousand words!



Just For Laughs - Call of the Wild

just for laughs - soaked cop

Just for laughs Gags 2009 - Convertable

Friday, June 19, 2009

Criss Angel - Makes Girl Vanish

How to Answer Questions in Maths Exam



Thursday, June 18, 2009

Don't Mess With Chinese.....lol!

A Jewish lawyer and a Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are so dumb that he could trick him easily. The lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun game.

The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines.

The lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.

This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question, 'What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?'

The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the Chinese's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'

The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Internet. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500.

The Chinese takes the $500, and goes right back to sleep.


The lawyer is going nuts, not knowing the answer. He wakes the Chinese up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'

The Chinese reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Little Tyrone

A teacher in a Detroit, Michigan elementary school asked her students if
they could **tell **the class what sound a pig makes.

Little Tyrone stood up and said:
"Up against the wall motherfucker!"

I guess there's not too many farms in Detroit...

Heart Treatment

Criss Angel Flies

Criss Angel cigarette

Skateboarding Accidents

Criss Angel Walks on Water

Job Opportunity in Alaska

WANTED
POSITION: Surveyor
LOCATION : Northern Coastal Alaska
SALARY: $275-$500/Hr - Tax Free
(Dependent on Experience & Employment Longevity)
QUALIFICATIONS :
Must be in Excellent Health, having a Strong Physique & Rugged Endurance combined with fast, nimble foot dexterity


WORK ENVIRONMENT:
APPLY NOW...IMMEDIATE OPENINGS AVAILABLE!

Chinese Proverb About Money

with money you can :

buy a house but not a home
buy a bed but not sleep
buy a book but not knowledge
see a doctor but not a good health
buy a position but not a respect
buy blood but not life
buy sex but not love

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

2009 Mazda 2 (Demio)





Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Take it or sink?

meow meow meow

Kecurangan Ayam Betina

Boner

Rhinoceros!

The Power of Love

Monday, June 15, 2009

Mario Theme Played with RC Car and Bottles

amazing choreography

Amazing Things About Everything The Second

True Love..

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Kamasutra 101

Tarzan and Jane

Friday, June 12, 2009

Just for laugh: Ice Cream

Life Lessons

Blind or what?

How many dead bodies are up on Mount Everest?


Mount Everest is both the highest mountain and the highest graveyard in the world. As of 2002, 175 climbers had died on the mountain, and the vast majority of these bodies were left behind. There are reported to be at least 41 bodies on the north side of Everest.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Just for Laughs: Police help people cross

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Temperatures may go up by 3˚C with El Nino phenomenon


GENTING HIGHLANDS: Brace yourself for hotter days. The El Nino phenomenon is coming.

And with warmer weather, the Government warns that the haze will worsen.

Natural Resources and Environment Minister Datuk Douglas Uggah Embas said the Meteorological Department has reported the El Nino phenomenon.

“However, its full effect can only be gauged sometime in August,” he said.



El Nino is a climatic condition where abnormal warming of the Pacific Ocean causes dry weather in South-East Asia and northern Australia.

Uggah was speaking to reporters after launching the Genting Goes Green programme at First World Plaza, Genting Highlands Resort yesterday.

Malaysia experiences a hot and dry season in June, July and August with temperatures ranging between 33 °C to 34 °C. However, with the El Nino phenomenon, temperatures can rise by an additional 3 °C.

Uggah said with such hot and dry conditions, any open burning activity could make things worse.

He said the Asean Specialised Meteorological Centre satellite report had identified 125 hot spots in the country from May 25 to June 7.

The report also showed an increase of hot spots in Sumatra and Kalimantan with 996 and 108 hot spots respectively.

Uggah said the Air Pollution Index for various locations in the country had deteriorated slightly.

“This has caused it to be slightly hazy. The hazy situation happened because of a stable atmosphere with a high humidity level of above 85%.

“This causes pollutants like dust and emissions from vehicles and factories to be collected in the air, causing poor visibility,” he said.

At 5pm yesterday, 57% of measuring stations around the country recorded “moderate” readings while the remaining stations recorded “good” readings.

Cheras in Kuala Lumpur had the worst API reading with 96 while Port Klang recorded a reading of 87.

As preventive measures, Uggah said the ministry had increased monitoring via daily aerial surveillance with co-operation from the police air unit and private airline companies.

“Emphasis is given to areas that are prone to fires such as Selangor, Pahang and Johor, especially peat swamps and garbage landfills,” he said.

By YENG AI CHUN

Sources:http://thestar.com.my

Kite tengok saper yg kena

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Budak lawan Kambing

video

Sweet Girl

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Persamaan kasut dengan kepala

Vertical city - Dubai - 2.4 KM tall





Time stands still for no one....

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Kami hanya bina stadium, bukan bumbung - Kontraktor

KUALA TERENGGANU 8 Jun - Selepas beberapa hari berdiam diri berhubung kejadian bumbung Stadium Sultan Mizan Zainal Abidin runtuh pada 2 Jun lalu, kontraktor utama projek pembinaan stadium itu tampil meminta supaya tidak dikaitkan dengan kejadian tersebut.

Bina Struktur Sdn. Bhd. menegaskan, syarikat itu hanya bertindak sebagai kontraktor utama dalam pembinaan bangunan stadium dan bukan bahagian bumbungnya.

Pegawai teknikal syarikat itu, Muhammad Shukri Anuar berkata, reka bentuk, pembinaan dan pemasangan bumbung stadium tersebut dilakukan oleh kontraktor dari Korea.

''Kami hanya membina bangunan stadium," ujarnya ketika dihubungi di sini hari ini.

Menurutnya, syarikat tersebut akan menunggu laporan siasatan runtuhan bumbung itu sebelum mengambil tindakan sepatutnya.

Beliau memberitahu, pihaknya dimaklumkan bahawa kerajaan negeri akan melantik badan penyiasat bebas dari luar negara bagi melakukan siasatan tersebut.

''Kami menunggu laporan siasatan tersebut sebelum mengambil tindakan selanjutnya. Tindakan yang akan diambil bergantung pada hasil siasatan kejadian runtuhan itu.

''Buat sementara ini, kami tidak dibenarkan mengeluarkan sebarang kenyataan kepada media," jelasnya.

Selasa lalu, separuh daripada bumbung di bahagian timur stadium bernilai RM292 juta itu yang menempatkan pintu masuk utama, pintu A, B dan B1 ke tempat duduk awam serta tetamu diraja dan orang kenamaan (VIP) runtuh.

Stadium itu kini ditutup sehingga enam bulan bagi membolehkan siasatan dijalankan.

source:www.utusan.com.my

Pengakuan seorang wanita

Monday, June 8, 2009

Don't drop it on the floor

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Sicknote @ MC

Finally, an honest Nigerian scammer

Jual Orang ke?

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

ADAKAH KESEMPURNAAN YANG KITA KEJAR?

Jika kamu memancing ikan....
Setelah ikan itu terlekat di mata kail,hendaklah kamu mengambil ikan itu....

Janganlah sesekali kamu LEPASKAN ia semula ke dalam air begitu saja....

Kerana ia akan SAKIT oleh kerana bisanya ketajaman mata kailmu dan mungkin ia akan MENDERITA selagi ia masih hidup.

Begitulah juga ........

Setelah kamu memberi banyak PENGHARAPAN kepada seseorang...

Setelah ia mulai MENYAYANGIMU hendaklah kamu MENJAGA hatinya....

Janganlah sesekali kamu meninggalkannya begitu saja....

Kerana dia akan TERLUKA oleh kenangan bersamamu dan mungkin TIDAK dapat MELUPAKAN segalanya selagi dia mengingatmu. ...

Jika kamu menadah air biarlah berpada, jangan terlalu mengharap pada takungannya dan janganlah menganggap ia begitu teguh....
cukuplah sekadar KEPERLUANmu. ..
Apabila sekali ia retak.... tentu sukar untuk kamu menampalnya semula.... Akhirnya ia dibuang....
Sedangkan jika kamu cuba memperbaikinya mungkin ia masih dapat dipergunakan lagi....

Begitu juga jika kamu memiliki seseorang,TERIMALAH seadanya....
Janganlah kamu terlalu mengaguminya dan janganlah kamu menganggapnya begitu ISTIMEWA....
Anggaplah dia manusia biasa. Apabila sekali dia melakukan KESILAPAN bukan mudah bagi kamu untuk menerimanya. ...
akhirnya kamu KECEWA dan meninggalkannya.
Sedangkan jika kamu MEMAAFKANNYA boleh jadi hubungan kamu akan TERUS hingga ke akhirnya....

Jika kamu telah memiliki sepinggan nasi... yang kamu pasti baik untuk dirimu.Mengenyangkan. Berkhasiat.
Mengapa kamu berlengah,
cuba mencari makanan yang lain..
Terlalu ingin mengejar kelazatan.
Kelak, nasi itu akan basi dan kamu tidak boleh memakannya. Kamu akan MENYESAL.

Begitu juga jika kamu telah bertemu dengan seorang insan.....yang pasti membawa KEBAIKAN kepada dirimu.
MENYAYANGIMU. .. MENGASIHIMU. ..
Mengapa kamu berlengah,
cuba MEMBANDINGKANNYA dengan yang lain. Terlalu mengejar KESEMPURNAAN. Kelak, kamu akan KEHILANGANNYA apabila dia menjadi milik orang lain..

Kamu juga yang akan MENYESAL...

Difference between you and your boss

This is so true!

When you take a long time to finish,
you are slow,
When your boss takes a long time to finish,
he is thorough

When you don't do it,
you are lazy,
When your boss does not do it,
he is busy,

When you do something without being told,
you are trying to be smart,
When your boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,

When you please your boss,
you are apple polishing,
When your boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,

When you make a mistake,
you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.

When you are out of the office,
you are wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office,
he's on business.

When you are on a day off sick,
you are always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave,
you must be going for an interview
When your boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked

When you do good,
your boss never remembers,
When you do wrong,
he never forgets

KNIGHT XV vs HUMMER

The KNIGHT XV is priced at $310,000 USD . Only 100 will be made available as a limited first run. Each vehicle takes 1,500 hours to build by hand .

---- Specifications ----

Price $310,000 Production 100
Engine 6.8 liter V10 Weight --
Aspiration -- Torque 498 lb-ft
HP 400 hp HP/Weight --
HP/Liter 58.8 hp per liter 1/4 mile --
0-62 mph -- Top Speed --


worst olympic team ever

Ouch On Ice: 2008 Olympics Preview

Skodeng Ramai²

How to Save a Wet Cell Phone

1. Get it out of the water as soon as possible. The plastic covers on cell phones are fairly tight, but water can enter the phone in a short period of time, perhaps only 20 seconds or less. So grab your phone quickly! If you can't get to it in time, your best bet is to remove the battery while it is still under water. Water helps dissipate heat from shorts that can damage the phone, so most damage occurs when the inside of the phone is merely wet and there is a power source.

2. Don't Panic. Your phone will probably not be too damaged if you right away take it out of the water. While it's in the water, immediately take it out.

3. Remove the battery. This is one of the most important steps. Don't take time to think about it; electricity and water do not mix. Cutting power to your phone is a crucial first step in saving it. Many circuits inside the phone will survive immersion in water provided they are not attached to a power source when wet.

4. If you have a GSM carrier, remove your SIM card. Some or all of your valuable contacts (along with other data) could be stored on your SIM. To some people this could be more worth saving than the phone itself. SIM cards survive water damage well, but some of the following steps are unnecessary i.e. don't heat it. Just pat it dry and leave it aside until you need to connect your phone to your cellular network. (This step does not apply to CDMA carriers such as Verizon, Alltel, US Cellular, Sprint, etc.)

5. Dry your phone. Obviously you need to remove as much of the water as soon as possible, so you can save it from getting into the phone. Shake it out without dropping it, then use a towel or paper towel (ideally trying not to clog the wet paper in the gaps and grooves of the phone) to gently remove as much of the remaining water as possible. Dry the excess moisture by hand.

6. Remove any covers and external connectors to open up as many gaps, slots, and crevices in the phone as possible.

7. Use a vacuum cleaner if possible. Do not use a hair dryer (even on a "cold" mode) to dry out the phone, as this may force moisture further into the small components, deep inside the phone. If moisture is driven deeper inside, corrosion and oxidation may result when minerals from liquids are deposited on the circuitry. Using a hairdryer might be a temporary fix, but this will eventually cause component failure inside the phone. Instead, remove all residual moisture by drawing it away with a vacuum cleaner held over the affected areas for up to 20 minutes in each accessible area. This is the fastest method and can completely dry out your phone and get it working in thirty minutes. Be careful not to hold the vacuum too close to the phone, as a vacuum can create static electricity, which is even worse.

8. Use a substance with a high affinity for water to help draw out moisture. Leave the phone in a bowl or bag of uncooked rice overnight. The rice would absorb any remaining moisture. If available, it is preferable to use desiccant instead. Desiccant will absorb moisture better than rice. It may be found under a brand name such as the "BHEESTIE Bag™" "DRY-ALL" "Damp Rid" or "Dry Right".

9. Let the phone sit on absorbent towels, napkin, or other paper. Remember that the goal is to evacuate all the moisture and humidity, not to trap it or add even more. Check the absorbent material every hour for 4 to 6 hours. If moisture is evident, repeat the vacuuming step and desiccant steps.

10. Test your phone. After you have waited a day or so, make sure everything is clean and dry looking and re-attach the battery to the phone and see if it works. If your phone does not work, try plugging it into its charger without the battery, if this works, you need a new battery. If not, try taking your cell phone to an authorized dealer. Sometimes they can fix it. Don't try to hide the fact that it has been wet. There are internal indicators that prove moisture.

11. Take the phone apart If your phone doesn't turn on at all. Try taking it apart. First, make sure that you have ALL the right parts and know exactly where they go. Be sure to put everything back in its proper place once finished. As you're disassembling it, pat each individual part dry with a small towel and use the vacuum cleaner once more on the crevices. If this doesn't work go to the professionals.

Wanita Mati selepas Malam Pertama - Mengejutkan


Sg Petani: Seorang wanita yang berumur 35 thn ditemui mati didalam bilik tidurnya semalam. Mengikut penduduk setempat, wanita itu baru sahaja melangsungkan perkahwinannya bersama seorang lelaki tua berumur 70 thn, sehari sebelum dia meninggal dunia (kelmarin).

Menurut suaminyanya, si mati tidak menunjukkan sebarang tanda-tanda ganjil yang mencurigakan sewaktu mereka mula masuk ke bilik tidur pada malam pertama dan menikmati malam pertama itu sebagaimana pasangan-pasangan lain. Dia berkata dia hanya menyedari kematian isterinya itu pada keesokan harinya (pada hari kedua perkawinannya bersama wanita itu) setelah isterinya tidak bangkit dari tidur sehingga ke tengahari.

Suaminya yang menyangka isterinya keletihan mula mengesyaki sesuatu apabila tubuh isterinya hanya kaku tidak bergerak apabila dia cuba mengejutkannya.'Saya cepat-cepat panggil jiran dan ketua kampung', kata suami si mangsa itu lagi.

Menurut doktor dari Hospital Alor Setar, Dr. Amran, yang melakukan bedah siasat sewaktu dihubungi semalam, berdasarkan kepada siasatan awal beliau mengatakan bahawa mangsa itu dikhuatiri telah terminum air mani yang telah luput tempohnya.

Sekian,

Nasihat PDRM kepada sume penduduk... kawin cepat2 sebelum expired !

Asmara Orang Pencen

Di suatu malam yang dingin, di dalam sebuah bilik yang sederhana
besar, diatas katil....... sepasang suami isteri yang telah lanjut
usia baru masuk tidur.

Suaminya telah mula mengantuk tapi isterinya terbangkit perasaan
ghairah malam itu....

Si isteri bersuara,
"Dulu-dulu tu..... abang selalu pegang tangan saya bila kita nak tido."

Suaminya dengan separuh sedar, menggenggam tangan isterinya, lepas tu
mula mengantuk
semula.

Beberapa ketika lepas tu, si isteri bersuara lagi,

"Kemudian tu.... abang selalu cium saya."

Si suami dengan rasa terganggu, mengangkat kepalanya dan menyentuh
bibirnya ke pipi si
isteri.

Lepas tu sambung tido balik.

Selepas beberapa saat, si isteri bersuara lagi,

"Kemudian tu.... abang selalu gigit-gigit leher saya......."

Dengan perasaan marah dan geram, si suami melontar selimutnya dan
bangun dari katil
tu.

Si isteri bertanya, "Abang nak gi mana tu?"

Dengan marah suaminya menjawab,
"Nak gi amik gigi la ni!!!"

Janda tiga kali tapi masih ada dara

Seorang janda yang sudah tiga kali kawin cerai diperiksa doktor. Waktu doktor mahu periksa dalam, terjadi percakapan.

Janda : “Hati-hati periksa ya doktor, saya masih dara!”

Doktor: “Hai kata Puan dah tiga kali kahwin cerai takkan masih ada dara?"

Janda : “Gini doktor, x-husband saya yang pertama adalah mati pucuk."

Doktor: “Oh gitu, tapi suami yang kedua puan tak mati pucuk kan?”

Janda : “Betul doktor, cuma dia gay, jadi saya tidak diapa-apakan langsung.”

Doktor: “Lalu suami yang ketiga Puan tidak mati pucuk atau gay kan?”

Janda : “Betul doktor, tapi dia orang politik."

Doktor: “Tapi apa kaitannya dengan dara Puan...?”

Janda : “Dia cuma berjanji sahaja dok, ‘tidak pernah direalisasikan!!!”

Doktor: “?!?!?!?! ?”

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Only in Malaysia





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