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Sunday, December 5, 2010

Thoughts to think about

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.


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Gardening Rule:


When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.


If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.


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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.


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Never take life seriously.


Nobody gets out alive anyway.


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There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.


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Life is sexually transmitted.


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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.


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If quitters never win, and winners never quit,


then who is the fool who said : "Quit while you're ahead?"


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The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.


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Always get the last word in: Apologize.


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Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;

teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.


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Some people are like Slinkies . .

not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.


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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.


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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?


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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.


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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?


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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.


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Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


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