GOOD BAD AND WORSE

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can`t find your birth control pills
Worse: Your daughter borrowed them

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Worse: You`re in them

Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He`s a cross dresser
Worse: He looks better than you

Good: Your son`s finally maturing
Bad: He`s involved with the woman next door
Worse: So are you

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Worse: With corrections

Good: Your wife`s not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Worse: She`s a lawyer

Good: You get into bed, and she`s feeling horny tonight.
Bad: You are drunk, and are feeling tired.
Worse: You forgot her mother is staying over, and you`ve entered the wrong room.

Helping Hands - Really touching

Tank Thank Tang

Sleep Safe Tape

SO, YOU THINK YOU HAVE PROBLEMS?

This is very interesting!

Read on...

damn...

Why men don't write advice columns......haha

HAT OR A$$

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tightly so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam, I'm sorry to appear forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady. "I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."

"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday"

Ramadan Bulan Tarbiah

Assalamualaikom..

Ramadhan adalah bulan tarbiah dan jihad bagi pejuang-pejuang Islam.
Justeru itu kedatangan Ramadhan adalah proses untuk menundukkan hawa nafsu yang sentiasa bergelodak dalam jiwa untuk mengabadikan jihad dan perjuangan. Andainya hawa nafsu boleh ditundukkan dengan jalan lain (bukan berpuasa) nescaya Allah akan mewajibkannya. Namun bilamana Allah mewajibkan puasa kepada umat dahulu dan sekarang, bermakna hawa nafsu hanya dapat dikawal melalui ibadat puasa,

Ramadhan janganlah dijadikan alasan untuk mengabaikan jihad; kerana tarbiah Ramdhan adalah tarbiyah langsung dari Allah, sehingga Allah menyatakan dalam hadis Qudsi yang bermaksud: Puasa kamu untuk Ku, maka Akulah yang akan memberi balasannya.

Alhamdulillah, Ramadhan datang lagi dengan penuh rahmat dan keberkatan. Marilah kita panjatkan kesyukuran ke hadrat Ilahi kerana dipanjangkan umur sehingga kita bertemu semula Ramadhan,

Katanya, Rasulullah s.a.w. sering kali berdoa yang bermaksudnya: Ya Allah, berkatilah kami dalam bulan Syaaban, dan (panjangkan umur kami) sehingga bertemu dengan Ramadhan.

Betapa besarnya rahmat Ilahi bilamana kita dipanjangkan umur sehingga bertemu dengan Ramadhan kerana sabda Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda yang bermaksud: Antara Ramadhan ke Ramadhan adalah pengampunan Allah.

Maksudnya, jelasnya sesiapa yang dipanjangkan umur sehingga dapat bertemu dengan Ramadhan, maka Allah akan mengampuni dosa-dosanya yakni dosa kecil.
Panjang umur bukan kerja kita, ia benar-benar hak mutlak Allah; lantaran itu marilah kita mensyukurinya..

Selamat Menjalani Ibadah Puasa dan hidupkan lah Ramadan dengan membanyakkan amalan2 harian, Tadarus, Qiamullail, sedekah, memohon keampunan kepada kedua ibu bapa, suami isteri, anak2, kaum keluarga dan sahabat handai dan orang2 yang berada di sekeliling kita..

Saya memohan ampun dan maaf..

Selamat Berpuasa

Croc family album

in style: electric grill

Test: How Fast Are You?

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World's Smallest resignation letter?

World's Smallest resignation letter?

Respected sir,

I luv ur wife.

Yours sincerely.

Difference Between Eau de Parfum and Eau de Toilette

People like to smell good. What classes as good varies from person to person, but in general spices, fruits, and flowers are preferable to the standard human body odor created by a mixture of sweat and dirt on our skin. Because of this, people have gone to great lengths throughout the ages to eliminate bad smells from their body. One popular method is applying perfume. Making perfume is an exacting science, and over the years perfumers have developed many different varieties. Two different varieties of perfume are eau de parfum and eau de toilette.

Translations of the Terms
Both eau de parfum and eau de toilette are French words that have found common usage in English.
Eau de parfum translates to water of perfume.
Eau de toilette translates to water of the toilet.
These are literal translations and bear only a limited meaning on the actual functions of eau de parfum and eau de toilette.

Definitions of the Terms
Eau de parfum – is a type of perfume with a medium-high concentration of perfumed oils in comparison to the water or alcohol content of the solution
Eau de toilette – is a type of perfume with a medium-low concentration of perfumed oils

How These Perfumes are Made
Perfumeries keep their formulas secret. The recipes have been handed down from generation to generation in some cases. Therefore you can’t really know precisely how perfumes are made. However, the general formulas for eau de parfum and eau de toilette are as follows:
Eau de parfum – is made with around 15% concentrated aromatic compounds. This means scented particles suspended in oil. The rest is made from a combination of ethanol and water. Better eau de parfum has a higher ratio of ethanol to water.
Eau de toilette – is made with around 10% concentrated aromatic compounds. It generally has more water than ethanol in it.

Which One Should You Buy?
Eau de parfum – is more expensive. You will generally only find this variety of perfume in upscale lines. That is because of the higher amount of aromatic compound. It also lasts a lot longer. Depending on the dryness of your skin, a few drops of eau de parfum should last from morning until night.
Eau de toilette – is less expensive because it is less concentrated. That also means that it doesn’t last as long. If you love to wear perfume all day, you will probably find that you need to reapply at least once. This of course, can up the overall cost.

Summary:
1.Eau de parfum and eau de toilette are both types of perfume.
2.Eau de parfum has a greater concentration of scent than eau de toilette.
3.Eau de parfum lasts longer than eau de toilette.
4.Eau de parfum is more expensive than eau de toilette, though, since you have to apply eau de toilette more often, the costs may turn out to be equal.

Written Job Application

Two young men with equal qualifications apply for the same job.

In order to determine which individual to hire, the manager gives them a written test.

Both men score nine out of 10 on the test; however, the manager decides to go with the first applicant.

"Why would you do that?" asks the rejected second applicant.

"We both got nine questions correct."

"Your fellow applicant wrote 'I don't know' for question five. You put down, 'Neither do I.'"

NIGHT CLASSES

During work, Ravin and David were chatting:

Ravin: Narain, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
David: oh!

Ravin: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
David: No

Ravin: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses you would know this.



The next day, the same discussion took place:

Ravin: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
David: No

Ravin: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.

The next day, once again:

Ravin: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
David: No

Ravin: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.

This time, David got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is John Von Stanley?
Ravin: No

David: He's the guy who's screwing your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this.